Friday, August 28, 2009

What are you really hungry for?

Oprah really is a cultural phenomenon of our time. I mean really... her patterns of weight loss and weight gain alone are followed by millions worldwide. During high school Emma Pye and I would leave school during our lunch break, grab some drive-through KFC, and watch Oprah. Sometimes these KFC/Oprah sessions would spill over into our math lessons, but that's ok. These were wonderful times of bonding for us. Criticising Oprah and the myriad of guests who appeared on her show provided us with a common ground. Anyway... these days, being the mature adult that I am, I have a much lower tolerance for Oprah. Yesterday at 1pm I relented and turned Oprah on. I watched the episode for about 10 minutes and nearly burst my foofoo valve from annoyance. Let me explain.

Yesterday the feature of Oprah's program was over-weight teenagers. Not just a bunch of kids who had eaten one too many Oreos, but clinically obese children. The interviews with some of these kids were really heart breaking. The teenage years are a difficult time; this is just compounded if you are noticeably different. Oprah called in some of her trusted counselors and the team of enthusiastic Americans endeavored to get to the bottom of what these kids were REALLY hungry for. Because, as many of us know, food addiction is rarely just the result of an unbalanced love of food. I'm sure that sometimes it is, but often food is just a convenient outlet, or area of control, or source of pleasure, or whatever. The kids screamed and cried and shared their pain, their struggles and their anger. After a number of intense documented sessions, Oprah gathered the group of teens in her studio and asked them each individually what they were REALLY hungry for. With smiling glowing facing, each child gave Oprah an answer. "I'm really hungry for a strong constant male figure in my life". "I'm really hungry for acceptance". "I'm really hungry to be seen for who I am inside, not what I look like". Oprah's conclusion was that all of these children are looking for the same thing. They are looking to find who they are, and they want to be seen for who they are. They want to be known. Deeply known. Through Oprah's carefully orchestrated counseling sessions, these children were able to identify the holes that exist in their lives (e.g. constant male figure), and effectively attribute blame to explain and rationalise the emptiness that they experience every day. From here, they can begin to discover who they are, apart from the circumstances that seem to have left gaping holes in their hearts.

Now. I understand that the teenage years are a tumultuous time of confusion and self discovery. I understand how detrimental a lot of difficult circumstances, such as inadequate parent figures, bullying, etc, can be on young lives. I understand that every kid wants to be known for who they are and what is written on their heart, not for how much weight they carry. I understand all of this. However I can't help but wonder how much longer we as a society are going to keep telling our children that the emptiness in their lives can be filled by happy circumstances and by being actively validated by somebody else. Sure, every one loves happy circumstances and being accepted, but these aren't the core issues. These aren't the cause of the deep and penetrating emptiness that they feel inside. Being "known" by somebody else isn't going to take away that pain. Being able to tell the world who you are won't solve your problems. Sorry Oprah, but it won't.

Our Bible study at the moment is reading through 1 Corinthians. This week I spent the whole session lying down on the couch with my eyes closed because I was exhausted (re: viral meningitis), however I was still able to listen to what was being said. 1 Corinthians 8:3 says that "the man who loves God is known by God". Just let that sink in for a moment. Not only are we created by God and loved by our Father, but we are known by God. We are deeply, intricately, eternally, passionately and profoundly KNOWN by God. Healing doesn't come from the world knowing who we are, but from the realisation that we are already known. We are known and loved, even as we are sinners. There are plenty of teenagers with perfect bodies and wonderful fathers who experience the same emptiness that the over-weight girl on Oprah's show described. They are known by lots of people. But this isn't enough. I can't help but disagree with Oprah's plight for young people to "be known" by others and therefore "experience healing". We are already known. If only she knew how wonderful it is to be known by our God!

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