Warning: Cynicism ahead....

Those of you who frequent Joel's blog will have noticed his disappointing lack of cynicism of late. In his most recent post, he even went so far as to describe his current state of being as "bouncing around in a world full of sunshine, lollypops and rainbows". Very disappointing. Those of you who know me will realise that I am an eternal optimist. Even when I am sad, I am usually happy as well. I once had two yellowy-orange pieces of fruit that I was convinced were oranges. They certainly couldn't have been lemons; they were clearly the shape of oranges and had a slight orangey tinge to their skin. However, upon eating the first "orange", I realised that it was the single most sour piece of fruit that I had ever eaten. But not to worry, I still had one more "orange", which I hadn't yet lost faith in, and proceeded to eat. They were both lemons. No doubt about it.

That somewhat convoluted orange/lemon story was just one example of how I tend to hope for the best in most situations. You know what they say; if life hands you lemons, hope that they are oranges. However, I also value consistency, and Joel's unprecedented lack of cynicism has thrown my understanding of life, the universe and everything into turmoil. Despite my naturally optimistic nature, I can't help but find this sudden change deeply disturbing.

SO. In an attempt to even things out a little, I thought that I would devote this post entirely to my own brand of cynicism. Uni has recently shifted into fifth gear and I don't see much opportunity for a reprieve over the next two months, so it shouldn't be difficult to think of some things that annoy me. Here is a list of things that have recently infuriated me for your misguided enjoyment:

• It annoys me that for 3 years now, without fail, my lecturers gleefully inflict a mountain of assignments on me that are due directly after lecture recess, and have the audacity to ask "Did you enjoy your relaxing break?".
• My SOSE lecturer says "SOZE".
  
• My history lecturer says "histowy" (although, granted, he has a speech impediment).
  
• The American cohort of students in my history class know more about Australian history than I do, and they certainly appear more interested.
  
• American accents.
  
• Unit plans.
  
• The current trend for ECE lecturers to transfer our subjects to external mode.
  
• Unit plans.
  
• Dust storms.
  
• Having asthma in a dust storm.
  
• Having asthma and a cold in a dust storm.
  
• Having asthma and a cold and going for a run in a dust storm.
  
• Lacking common sense.
  
• People who visit coffee shops in groups and pretend to enjoy each others company whilst spending the entire time facebooking each other on their iphones. Lame.
  
• Instant coffee.
  
• Computers.
  
• Webquests/wikis/bubblus/imagination/delicious clouds/any other form of ICT tool with a stupid name that I am supposed to be able to utilise in an educational context.
  
• Unit plans.
  
• Education Queensland's relaxed stance on prompt employee payments.
  
• People who think that "group work" is an optional componet of group assignments.
  
• Lecturers who think that group assignments are actually beneficial to anyone.
  
• Discovering that you have a hole in the clothes that you are wearing when you are already out.
  
• Discovering that you have toothpaste on your shirt when you are already out.
  
• Having to make jokes about the holes in your clothes or toothpaste on your shirt to alleviate the awkwardness. Nothing like making an awkward situation less awkward by firstly making it more awkward.
  
• Forgetting to wear shoes to church on Sunday night at Calvary.
  
• Having people look at you as if you require additional intercessory prayer simply because you forgot to wear shoes to church.
  
• Having to wear shoes.
  
• Drinking a cup of tea whilst writing a blog and spilling it on the keyboard... rage...
  
• Coffee shop waiters who try to pretend that saying "Thanks a-latte!" isn't hilarious.
  
• Demonstrating to a friend in a coffee shop how patronising it is to click your fingers at the staff, and accidently summoning a waiter in the process.
• Having to apologise for accidentally being a jerk.
  
• Unit plans.
  
• People who insist on telling me stories about people who have died or been knifed in the face whilst in PNG. Really don't want to know.
  
• The unwritten social rule that says you are less of a woman if your hair is messy.
  
• People who say "Teacher's have an easy job - just look at all of the holidays they get!!".
• Australians who ask me where my accent is from (???)... perhaps I also have a speech problem...
• People who print pretty pictures on tissues. Why would you put a cute little puppy dog on a piece of tissue that serves no other purpose than to.. well.. I don't need to explain that one...
  
• Unit plans

End rant. Now that the universe has returned to a state of balance, I will return to my usual optimistic self :)